It could have been any one of the heart failures or stopping breathing, or the enteritis and the blood transfusion but it would be nice to know it could NOT have been a stuff up at all, honestly, because I’m the one who doesn’t get the kudos of doing a good job or the kicks for doing a bad one, just the death threats. It isn’t about complaining that I’ve got it tough either -it’s not something I make a habit of but I have to use the words I have left after a second brain injury. Using my own personal experiences is just a shorthand way of conveying a point with maybe a little more polemic than I’d like, but then I did just whip this up whilst I was meant to be having a quiet five minutes.

If they want to lower the benefits bill, when it comes to CP research into prevention alone is not enough.  My GP agrees funding mismanagement here and says that ANY research funding postnatal would be nice!) My point was that the Government and press could stop pointing the finger at people who feel quite bad enough about having a disability and put the time AND money into training and support in all sorts of fields. I’ve had good doctors and bad doctors good social workers and bad ones, good neighbours and bad ones – and I only wish I still had the grasp of vocabulary, and memory to cover all eventualities and avoid offending anyone but then I wouldn’t write anything at all.

Every midwife I saw during my own brief pregnancy was doing their damndest for me, and every medico was appalled at the treatment I had at the hand of the only G.P. to be less than supportive. I felt like a REAL woman, an adult and a valued human being, in a way I never had before and in a way that far outweighs anything one hidebound narrow-minded bigot could come up with – and without that loving care I couldn’t have borne what had been said and done by that doctor (which had nothing to do with funding or pressure and everything to do with personal ethics) I frankly can’t put into words how special they made me feel or how it restored my confidence in the progress of disability rights on the ground but that is a whole other topic. I know THEY did their damndest but after two miscarriages that ‘stuff just happens’ if that helps. We all have a rocky road. Some have the pleasure of walking it with their families by their side and others can only carry their children in their hearts. I’m pretty damned lucky even if without the CP I could never have been threatened with a forced abortion at 5 weeks and I certainly won’t whine about a chance that most women would see as a tragedy. I have friends who would feel priviledged to have conceived at all

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