I come from a family that owned a house with half an acre of land (and a large mortgage) and saw themselves as struggling taxpayers because there was not much over after 3 kids, the wellies and cheap pets and the smallholding. That is not poverty- that’s life choices. 3 kids- a choice- life in the country- a choice, mortgage over rent- a choice. Moving from the town school where your daughter is NOT bullied and abused despite her disability to a country school where she IS, a choice.
Poverty is when you DON’T have choices. Poverty is when you have a disabled child and have to give UP the life in the country, the boat and the horse for the ‘normal’ daughter. But in the 80s you don’t give it up- you don’t give up the disabled daughter for adoption, because there is just enough Family Allowance, medical care and support at school to make her not TOO much of a burden and for you to have the lifestyle you want.
Now however, I would be the reason my parents were poor- disabled kids are expensive if there is no support at school, no equipment funding and a reduced NHS. And adult disabled kids cost even more. Housing, council tax, non- NHS medical treatments as they degenerate. So, tell Social Services you are too ill to care for them, tell your daughter to tell them you don’t exist, if you can’t get her put in a home get some patsy to marry her not knowing she’ll need care by 30 and be an old-young cripple by 40 and (please God) dead by 60.
Now I am the reason my husband is poor- a disabled wife is expensive. I don’t feel I have the right to own anything, buy anything, go anywhere or do anything. I cost too much though if we are talking the shame of having an adult child who does not work. I am NOT lower ‘class than my parents because my combined income with my husband’s does not fund their two houses and a boat.
Sell off your children to those with a conscience to keep your own 30 pieces of silver? It’s ALL about personalities! We should measure people by their humanity not their finances.
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